Back to the Silly Pages(Thanks to various contributors from the mailing list)
Marien of Bjornaer: Maybe I shouldn't have teased him so much about his heart beast.
Azaer of Bonisagus: He was seeking to test his new theory.
Helenitia of Criamon: That is your Gauntlet, apprentice.
LLewellyn of Diedne: To escape those blasted Flambeau!
Dernia the witch, Ex Miscellanea: You say he went across the road? Damn, I need his bones!
Trentus of Flambeau: That was no chicken! The Moors are spying on me. Or maybe Diedne is gathering information for it's return. No matter, they all shall feel the searing heat of my righteous flames!
Grimgroth of Jerbiton: You should spend less time in your labs, and more with the folk of this land, any one of them could tell you why.
Belin of Mercere: When I find out I will convey that information to you.
Urziffil of Merinita: The Fey have no use for roads, or chickens. I say we remove both blights from the forests of this land.
Guenericus of Quaesitor: He was fleeing the fall of the Order. Shouldn't be long now...
Tresmillia of Quaesitor: Neither the Code nor the Peripheral Code governs the movements of chickens.
Alexander of Tremere: His Will was weak, I broke him easily.
Caecus of Tytalus: The Challenge of the road has strengthened him. You should learn from that.
Retistius of Verditius: You thought it was a real chicken?
How many wizards Ex Misc does it take to light a candle?
How many Bjornaers does it take to light a candle?
How many Jerbitons does it take to light a candle?
How many Criamons does it take to light a candle?
How many Verditii does it take to light a candle?
How many Verditii does it take to light a candle?
How many Tytalus magi does it take to light a candle?
How many Quaesitores does it take to light a candle?
How many Bonisagus magi does it take to light a candle?
How many Redcaps does it take to light a candle?
How many Goetists does it take to light a candle?
How many Tremere does it take to light a candle?
How many Verditius magi does it take to light a candle?
How many Quaesitores does it take to light a candle?
How many Tytalus does it take to light a candle?
How many Bonisagus does it take to light a candle?
How many Flambeaux does it take to light a candle?
How many Bjornaers does it take to light a candle?
How many Criamons does it take to light a candle?
How many Mercere does it take to light a Candle?
How many Jerbitons does it take to light a candle?
How many Guernicus magi does it take to light a candle?
How many Traditionalist Guernicus magi does it take to light a candle?
How many Transitionalist Guernicus magi does it take to light a candle?
How many Tremere does it take to light a candle?
How many Tytalus does it take to light a candle?
How many Merinita does it take to light a candle?
How many Diedne does it take to light a candle?
How many Arch-Mages does it take to light a candle?
How many apprentices does it take to light a candle?
How many faeries does it take to light a candle?
How many demons does it take to light a candle?
How many grogs does it take to light a candle?
How many people with True Reason does it take to light a candle?
How many candles does it take to light a covenant?
How many first-year apprentices does it take to light a candle?
How many fifth-year apprentices does it take to light a candle?
How many fifteenth-year apprentices does it take to light a candle?
First Magus: How many Tremere magi does it take to replace a candle?
First Magus: How many Criamon does it take to replace a candle?
First Magus: Okay then, how many Flambeaux does it take to replace a
candle?
Candle Jokes
How many Flambeaux does it take to light a candle?
Two. One to light the building and the other to
find the burning candle.
Candles? In my tradition we use oil-lamps!
Only one - the one with the heartbeast of a dragon.
But, but, but... the dark is so pretty!
Three. One to light the candle?
All of them: they hold a big contest and everyone brings a
candle lighter of their own invention. The winner is a bronze
whale that swims through earth over to the candle, then spouts
fire, melting the top of the candle but lighting the tallow.
None. Verditius candles light themselves.
One. There can be only one.
Four. One to light it. One to cast Frosty Breath of the Spoken Lie
. One to cast Image of Bygone Times. One to witness it for the
Peripheral Code.
Only one, but it'll take three or four years before it's been
incorporated into Hermetic Theory.
Three. You wait all year, then they all turn up within a season...
One, but they need 99 astasian demons to help.
None. Illumination by candle is not our party line at present, sodalis.
None. Try this new item though, I call it a lightbulb...
The number, and only that, exactly specified in the Code of Hermes.
Nine, I have seen eight fighting to light it.
Less than the magi of other Houses, damn it!
Three: Two to turn the tallest tower on the castle into a giant candle,
and the other to BoAF it.
How about the one whose heartbeast is a candle? (Speaks with a french
accent, very charming, eye for the ladies, etc...)
Tunafish.
Fifteen. One Gifted one to make the candle, one to light it, and the rest
to tell all the covenants that a candle has been lit.
One. With a tinderbox.
None. They have Hoplites for the dirty work.
One, as long as someone has done it before.
One, but only if he thinks it's dark enough.
As many as the Primus says.
Six. One to trick the local priest into doing it, one to trick the local lord
into doing it, one to trick the local faerie into doing it, one to sneak into
the covenant past all the guards to do it, and two to argue about whether it
should be lit anyway.
Six. One to use Spontaneous Magic, four to catch all the lilac and gold
butterflies, and one to turn them back into a candle.
Fifty. 49 to fight off the Tremere and Flambeau, and one to light the candle.
One. They don't co-operate or work together. Understood?!?
You'd trust an apprentice to do that?
Fourteen. Six to have a feast in honour of the candle, one to be the Guardian
of the Candle, one to be the Mysterious old man in the Woods, one to be
master of the Wild Hunt, one to be the quarry, five to be the Host, and one
to change the rules halfway through the answer.
None, according to my spells.
Four. One to light the candle, and three to protect the magus in case it
explodes.
One, but only if he believes in it.
About fifty, usually.
One apprentice, twenty candles.
One apprentice, one candle - and three gills of beeswax,
two wasp wings, a virgin's tears, two pawns of
Ignem vis, and a Flambeau Archmage to put out the
fire afterwards.
"Get a grog to do it - I'm practicing for the Gauntlet!"
Second Magus: I don't know, how many Tremere magi does it take to
replace a candle?
First Magus: Three. One to notice it's burnt down to the bottom, one
for him to a give a report to, and one to order someone
else to change it.
Second Magus (Getting bored): I don't know, tell me...
First Magus: Fish.
Second Magus (Grits teeth): Go on.
First Magus: Who needs candles when there's a peasant about?
Second Magus: That does it! This is grounds for certamen.
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